Ooof, that’s a hard hitting title. But, this is actually how I live my life.
The year of COVID, I turned 39 years old. 37 you can still call yourself young, but at 39, you really can’t. And now I have my first child, a toddler (midlife mummy — ooof, another hard hitting title). My age actually doesn’t bother me, until I think about my mother. My mum came to Canada when she was in her late 20’s. She followed my dad and left England with two young girls in tow. Do you know how hard it is to make friends as an adult? REAL HARD. Luckily, they met some friends on the plane over, ex-pats like them who became life long friends.
📸: Mum and I at grade 8 grad.
Okay, so enough about the backstory, what does this have to do with your age?? Right, so here we go, my Mum (Fiona) passed away at the age of 45. Three short weeks after going for a hysterectomy, we found out she was riddled with cancer which started in the colon, they called it “aggressive colon cancer”. Her father passed away from the exact same thing at a young age. Even if they had found it sooner, it wouldn’t have changed the outcome.
So, I was 18 years old and I was motherless. That is that special time when a daughter starts becomes friends with their mother. Instead, I was starting university and kicked out of my step-fathers home (oh wait, he did offer me a place with him and his new girlfriend— but I couldn’t bring my dogs… aka HARD NO). Luckily my dad had a sketchy basement apartment that me, two dog and two cats could live. During those 4 years in university, I worked 3 jobs and partied haaarrrdddd.
Once I hit my late twenties, I realized I might have an expiration date, like my mother and grandfather before me. So, I started living like I was dying. I had an extensive bucket list and bing, bang, boom — people were in awe of my life. Some things I did? Learned to knit, learned to line dance, went sky diving, travel to Egypt and Dubai, went scuba diving in the red sea, took a drawing class, made pottery, went rock climbing, cut my hair pixie short, went back to university (much easier as an adult FYI), ran two half marathons, joined an improv group, played with a roller derby team, made a TON of friends.
📸: skydiving circa 2009
It’s not a bad way to live actually. I’ve also prepared my will and have life insurance for myself, husband and child (all things I recommend BTW). Having an expiration date also allows you to appreciate the small things and have gratitude for every day you continue to live. For example, I live a much happier life becuase I’m grateful daily for my amazing husband, the roof over my head and the food in our cupboard. I appreciate every day by taking in the DEEPEST breath of outdoor fresh air — it reminds me I’m alive and live in a safe, clean country.
Where to start — bucket list. I know, I know lame AND really helpful! Let’s start on how to create your bucket list. It doesn't need to focus on larger than life activities or travelling the world (post-COVID who know what this will look like!) Start small, anything you can do at home? Such as — wake up earlier, work out, declutter, start journaling.
Medium bucket list items, things that you can do around your community or with friends. This can include things like — volunteering, skydiving, taking a class (cooking, drawing, etc.), learning to drive a motorcycle, visiting a museum, go to an observatory, visit a local landmark, act in a play, dye your hair blue… the list literally can go on!
Large bucket list items takes time and planning. You want to think of your biggest goals and then start planning to achieve them. Usually, the large bucket list items include travel (Seven wonders of the world!) or something daring and completely uncomfortable — like starting your business, changing careers, telling someone you love them. This is where you will be surprise at the results. This is the meat and potatoes of bucket lists, where you grow and learn and develop into your true self.
📸: Roller derby (Left Lane Pain)
📸: Second half marathon. BTW I’m a slow runner, but I did it!
How to start: As you start your bucket list, you will want to write down three to 5 items you want to accomplish first (usually small and medium items). Write these down the night before and as you achieve them, mark them off the list. Then transfer what is outstanding to the list you create the next evening, moving them up to the first slot. With your large bucket list items, do your research, start saving to your bucket list fund and set a date to accomplish it by. I would say you can do 1 bucket list item every year or two — so make them count!
Wondering what’s next on my list? Skeet shooting, cross country skiing, hitting up the local Observatory, auditioning and acting in a play (post COVID!), decluttering the basement and waking up (getting out of bed) at 6 am daily. My large bucket list item is to go to Netherlands and England to visit family.
Looking for some inspiration? Check out Bucket List Journey https://bucketlistjourney.net/my-bucket-list/
Got some awesome bucket list ideas? Hit me up!
